It’s a special time of year as we celebrate the end of 2023 and welcome in 2024. It hasn’t been an easy year for many of us, given the two wars that we are seeing no end in sight -- Ukraine and the Israel-Hamas struggle, nor for the struggling and starving people in Gaza.
Our own country has become even more divided then ever, as we now seem to view life, for some strange reason, as an escalating conflict between us v. them; plus our increasing unfounded fear of “the other,” whoever we decide that may be.
While we live in a time of change and changing values, locally I feel we are all so lucky to be able to live in this area, where we have some wonderful residents of varying stripes and colors, weather is pleasant, to say the obvious – no blizzards, hurricanes or tornadoes. We are not without problems (no place is), but ours range from tiny problems, to potholes to procrastination in Palo Alto. Nothing we can’t handle or solve.
We are very lucky to have a town with two very great newspapers –journalistically, top-notch and filled with news stories of our community, so we know what’s going on: the Palo Alto Weekly and the Palo Alto Daily Post. My thanks and great appreciation to Jocelyn Dong, editor, and Adam Dawes, CEO of the Weekly, to the Weekly’s founder -- now retired Bill Johnson; and to Dave Price, publisher and editor of the Daily Post.
My thanks also to all those who work hard to make our town a better place to live –our city council, city manager and staff; our community activists, our police and fire departments, our teachers and school board.
We are fortunate to live in such an interesting and community involved city.
Loneliness
One problem that does escalate this season here and around the country is loneliness. It’s a larger problem than I realized –“at any moment, one out of two Americans is experiencing measurable levels of loneliness,” according to Dr. Vivek Murphy, surgeon general of the U.S., as reported in the NYT.
“We need to acknowledge the loneliness and isolation that millions are experiencing and the grave consequences for our mental health, physical health and collective well-being.” Dr. Vivek said.
The findings applied to all age groups, and to those who were single, married, with or without children, and, of course, the elderly.
I’ve heard friends of mine discussing the problem locally. People seem less friendly, they say, they always tell me they are too busy and can’t do things -- like call me, one remarked. Grocery stores have self-checkouts and I no longer talk to anyone in line or the clerk, another said. We watch TV at night, but seldom go out to a movie because the movies seem directed toward children and those who love noise, guns and fighting, a former movie-goer observed. My friends, when I occasionally see them, just want to talk about sports, but there’s more to life, a male Palo Altan said. Just calling a friend to talk is not “in” of late, another woman observed People don’t want to take the time to invite us over for a drink, a married woman told me.
Technology may have affected our relationships with others, also. Zoom allows us to talk to people virtually, not face-to-face. We text rather than talk, or we email rather than phone. One person said she feels now she may be "intruding" if she calls a friend.
No one had any solution but those I talked two admitted they were more lonely now than they used to be, and feel more isolated, “I just want to talk to people more,” a woman explained that was a major cause of her loneliness.
So, perhaps I have a slight remedy. I also want to talk more to others and, for me, doing it by phone is easy. This week I started call several near and far-away friends just to “see how you are and reach out to you over the holidays.” Everyone genuinely replied, ‘Thank you. Your call helps – and thanks for remembering me.”
So, that is my hope for this season. Let us all try to take time and sit down, call our friends, and reach out to them. It will, I hope, help them have a happier Christmas, a better feeling for the season and maybe even a merrier New Year.
