My husband and I renew our vows every year because we are eternally grateful for the opportunity to share our union as both a married couple and parents of two small children.

Mutual thoughtfulness is a key to a successful relationship. While I do not put toothpaste on my husband's toothbrush, I make sure that he continues to take his HIV meds each morning and in addition to preparing his favorite meals, I make sure that all of his cosmetic supplements are neatly arranged and placed on the bathroom counter.

He reciprocates by giving me gentle foot rubs and softly caressing my neck as only a thoughtful lover can do.

Good sex is also important and I do everything in my power to ensure that he is always satisfied.

We renew our vows via expensive gifts.
Last year I gave my boyfriend a new Mercedes AMG and he reciprocated by taking me to an exclusive all-gay resort in the Caribbean.

I agree that good sex is imperative even if it borders on the questionable.

Perhaps a few lessons can be learned from the previous posters as consideration, thoughtfulness, and caring are important elements of any relationship.

Please, readers, post kindly about your own experience. Please, no comments about others.

My husband and I renew our vows by granting each other a 'special wish' every year. Last year my wish was to visit Paris and he obliged. His wish was for a 'devil's threesome' and I reluctantly obliged.

When it was mutually decided that we could not renew our vows with sincerity, my wife and I got divorced.

It was a costly endeavor and very disruptive to our family environment at the time but things turned out best in the long run.

She is now happily involved with a man 12 years her junior and I am free to pursue my outside interests without having to answer to her harping about things not getting done around the house.

Our kids are now in their 20s and dealing with relationship issues of their own. If anything, they have learned that people can grow apart and earlier marital vows are meaningless as individual lives change or evolve/de-evolve in other directions.

Like eating liver, marital vows are not for everyone

Best not to make promises that one cannot keep.

In lieu of any vow renewals, my husband and I keep score of our various shortcomings and indiscretions. For every mutually acknowledged misdeed, the other party gets to partake in one of their own to even or settle the score.

Certain vices and oversights (i.e. gambling, adultery, compulsive spending) are identified as such and remunerated by mutual endeavors and related activities.

It's far cheaper than paying a divorce lawyer because we get to spend the money on ourselves rather than attorney retainers and padded billable hours.

"Best not to make promises that one cannot keep."

Wedding vows are like New Year's resolutions, they sound good but are oftentimes difficult to fulfill over an extended period of time.

Many couples who have been married for an extended period of time can no longer afford to get a divorce and start life all over again. As a result, they are stuck with one another until the grim reaper eventually comes to the rescue.

Having been married in a civil ceremony, there were no vows or false promises for one to be held accountable for, just a mandatory blood test and filing fee.

Having a non-wedding (with zero vows) also saved a lot of money as no one had to shell-out any money for a costly wedding reception.

Unless a couple is planning to raise a family, there is absolutely no reason to ever get married or be held hostage to unrealistic vows and lofty Hallmark Card sentiments.

Please, folks, use “I” statements and don’t speculate about others. The goal is to learn from others’ experiences or grow in your understanding based on what is shared of one’s own experience. Thank you.

Reaffirming our core Christian values is how my husband and I reaffirm our vows.

Kudos to Heloise Jensen for her reaffirmation of faith. It is getting far more difficult these days given various global events.

Back to topic...

Even though we are not legally married, my 'significant other' and I renewed our vows by inviting our remaining friends to a re-committment ceremony and an all-organic feast in the Humboldt Forest.

Along with some good 'shrooms', there was plenty of wine and pot to go around and we also had a live acoustic band playing Grateful Dead songs.

Sadly, many of our closest friends and acquaintances have passed on. When one is pushing 80, these gatherings of the elder generation tends to get smaller. On the other hand, the younger generations can often show the older generations a few things and we have been blessed to have surviving friends whose children and grandchildren turned us on to some of the best weed on Earth.

While my mate looks kind of stupid with his bald head and miniscule pony tail, I probably look like a graying witch to small children in the suburban neighborhoods.

Our re-enacted vows were a reaffirmation of not changing a thing and ironically, we don't recall the original vows that we shared back in 1967.

My wife would like to return to India to renew our vows and visit her parents but our children have minimal interest in accompanying us.

She envisions booking the Taj Majal for the ceremony, followed by a lavish feast, and a communal dip in the Ganges.

I told her to dream on.

"Reaffirming our core Christian values is how my husband and I reaffirm our vows."
^ We do the same except that we are Jewish. The key of course is not be a fanatic.

We reaffirm our marital commitment by trying to be good providers for our children.

This involves offering constructive guidance and criticism, encouraging spiritual values, and providing high-end material goods as a reward for their obsequiousness.

In our renewed wedding vows we changed the "Do you promise to love, honor and cherish..." to "Do you promise to love, [respect], and cherish..."

In retrospect and after 20 years of marriage, our fulfilling one out of these three promises ain't bad.

Like in baseball, batting .300 is considered successful.

@Reese: I totally understand. You can love someone but not necessarily respect them as a person or cherish their presence.

Our vows are similar to those of the Massai in Africa. The husband vows to be a good provider and the wife vows to manage the household (including grocery shopping, cooking, house cleaning, laundry, and transporting the kids to school, the dentist, and soccer practice).

Oh I forgot..walking the dog and taking it to the vet or dog groomer.

Not every woman needs a professional career as many take the time off to raise small children.

Lofty wedding vows and a sense of unrealistic romance are figments of Western culture. In most parts of the world, Hallmark sentiments are meaningless and/or non-existent.

That said, we renewed our vows by taking out individual life insurance policies and creating a revocable trust.

Now all of the bases are covered and we can go back to pursuing our separate (but still married) private lives and interests.

The Native Americans did not have a concept of romantic love either as marital roles were explicitly defined by personal duties and obligations.

I discussed renewing our marital vows to my husband and he replied "What for? Haven't I provided enough by putting food on the table and paying the mortgage for the past 22 years?"

All things considered, he is probably right because the concept of romantic love is highly overated.

False expectations often lead to further disappointment which is why we are reluctant to renew our marital vows.

Why be hypocritical and perfunctory?

After 25 years of marriage, my wife brought up the idea of renewing our wedding vows followed by a lavish reception at The Fairmont in San Francisco for about 40 guests.

When she learned that it would cost around $25K-$30K, I gave her the option of going through with this folly OR my giving her $30K in cash to spend as she pleased.

Guess what? She took the cash.