By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
(More)About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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I was recently told that my tag line, Helping Partners Become Couples, is backwards and should be Helping Couples Become Partners.
In my experience with many, many couples, they are generally good partners already. They are "good enough" co-parents, manage their careers, household, social life, finances, vacations, and other responsibilities together pretty well.
Yet they are not a couple, at ease as lovers, and emotionally connected. Their lives are often run in parallel, and they look good to the outside observer.
Happy couples are inter-dependent (as opposed to being dependent or independent), with four legs in the relationship (meaning two whole people).
If you want a secure connection with your partner, defined as: being emotionally attuned to one another, knowing s/he has your back, seeking comfort and sex from one another, and creating home as a haven from which to venture out into the rest of your life -- in short, if you want to become a couple, I can likely help you get there. It would be my pleasure.
