By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
(More)About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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Wedding Bells After Fifty by Autumn Marie is a read I recommend. There's a myth that women over 50 won't get married, and this book is out to dispel that. Ten stories plus the author's are presented. The women are from all walks of life, many ethnicities and backgrounds.
The overwhelming theme of the book is that all of the women are smart, confident, strong, and know what they want. Each one is explicit in her communication with her potential husband, clear that she is looking for marriage, and is not afraid to end relationships if the man is not on the same track. Additionally, the women have reached a stage where they aren't molding themselves to be a fit for a man; he accepts her as she is, or it's a no go. This doesn't mean that the women are unreasonable; they are quite accommodating to their man, just not in a self-diminishing way.
As you'll read, being clear about wants and needs doesn't mean there aren't difficulties to overcome. Whether it's timing, location, adult children or other issues, the couples have to work through their bumps in the road together.
Autumn poses questions and challenges to the reader, and includes advice from the women in the vignettes.
Please note that the book could use the hand of an editor; overlook that fact and take in what is being shared.
