By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
(More)About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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Question to long-married couples asked by Randy Pausch, author of
The Last Lecture was "How were you able to stay together?"
Randy Pausch was a computer science professor and when diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer decided to give a last lecture -- about life. The lecture and his book were for his kids, and for his wife.
I hope you will not only work hard at your relationship, but work smart on it; and have fun along the way.
One of the reasons I liked
The Last Lecture is that it was written by a "geek" who truly accepted himself as he was, and worked to make changes both small and large to help improve his relationship with his wife. Randy learned the "foreign language" of the emotional life, and integrated his left-brain strength with his right-brain.
Many of the couples I have the privilege to work with, being here in Silicon Valley, are an engineer and a non-engineer (although both may be engineers). All of us benefit by being integrated within ourselves; it is then easier to create a secure attachment with your partner, to be inter-dependent.
