We spend time as a family, and after the kids go to bed or off to do homework, we spend time as a couple—without devices. You could even pretend you’re living in the days before electricity. Light a candle, sit close. Talk. Hold hands. Kiss. See where it leads you.
I’m not anti-devices. I have a computer, phone and iPad; they’re extremely useful and I use them daily. However, I’m pro-couples. I work to help couples clear the decks in all ways to enjoy spending time together, to talk, to be intimate, and to make love.
Clearing the decks takes place in all areas of life: emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and practically.
You have to make time for each other and your relationship. Otherwise, eventually, you may end up on a sinking ship with a person you barely know anymore. Marriage needs work. Not a lot of work if you keep up with it, but day to day effort.
Every day:
Verbally appreciate your beloved in one way, as your partner and lover (as opposed to as a parent, worker, in-law, etc.).
Hug belly to belly for a couple of minutes.
Gaze into each others’ eyes for three to five minutes.
Give at least one small ‘service’ without being asked (e.g., Empty the dishwasher, tank up fuel in the car, read to kids, bring coffee to your beloved in bed).
Spend uninterrupted time together (20 minutes, where each of you talks for 10 minutes and the other listens exceptionally well; then switch). Your family or work will survive. In fact, you’re setting a healthy example for your kids.
Bring an unexpected gift now and then (not every day).
Maybe you have couple issues that you need to work through in order to be able to enjoy each others’ company again. If life has come at you (which it does), many couples have things to talk through. Don’t avoid it, and don’t hide behind devices or work. The pile under the rug is just going to grow.
My husband and I are going device-free on Friday nights.
Let me know what night you pick, and how it’s going.
