By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
(More)About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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You may wonder why I am writing about the Warriors on a couple's blog. Partly to celebrate!
And, it's because I'm thinking about how they got there, and how couples can reach their goals, too. And it's a reminder to celebrate, as a team.
The Warriors had to play as a team. In the post-game interview, Draymond said that when he's older and looks back on this time, what he will remember is how much fun they had.
Are you playing as a team? Are you having fun? Are you on the same side as one another, and everything else in life is on the other side of the net? These are the things that you need as a couple. Are you letting someone or something else come between you?
When you have what Stan Tatkin calls a "Couple Bubble" it creates an emotional safety net for you two, and ultimately over your kids. It's as though the two of you are the roof of your family -- together.
Is there a star in your house? A bench player? Is that what you want? How can you even things out so everyone wins? Make sure you speak up about what is important to you before resentment sets in. If you are the partner who talks more, make more air space for your partner to talk.
Do you know how to coordinate your efforts? Do you do alley-oops? The alley-oop combines elements of teamwork, pinpoint passing, timing and finishing. Do you hog the ball? Do you pass a lot to make the most of situations that arise in real time?
Congratulations to the Warriors, and congratulations to you, couples. Keep it up.
