You brought tears to my eyes. Your mother-in-law and your husband are lucky to have you. Wishing you all peace and love as you go through the next few weeks.

How brave of you. I was not so willing to say the truth even when I knew it, So hard to loose your Mom

Thank you.

This hits close to home for me. Though I was not the one to break the news to "the father of my heart" (I love that phrase) who was my father-in-law, I was in the room with the doctor when he and my mother-in-law were informed that the adenocarcinoma in his pancreas was inoperable and untreatable. He was given 6 months and told to put his affairs in order.

He ended up passing away in just 7 weeks, and the last 4 were horrific. I miss him so much but am glad he is no longer in that stage of terror and pain. Palliative care was hit or miss; I am hoping that your mother's care is more successful, and that her time left is peaceful.

My heart goes out to you. I know the road you're on, and the only hope I can offer you is that, with time, there is healing. We are still experiencing our first <fill in blank of holiday, birthday, anniversary celebration> without him. This Friday would have been their 67th wedding anniversary. When I get weepy (which is frequent), I focus on the great life he had, and on the wonderful experiences he had. And on the marvelous son he left for me.

Theresa, I am so sorry for the loss of your father of your heart. I hear that you have found blessings (his son, end of suffering), and for that I am glad. Wow, almost 67 years! As you go toward the first of holidays without him, and all the years to come, find ways to keep a connection with him. Create rituals, tell stories, look at photos, videos, do things he loved to do. Know that it's okay to cry, and okay to laugh. For example, set a place at the table for him for Thanksgiving, and place his photo there. Make a plan of how to spend these special/difficult days. Maybe part of it is with others, maybe some is alone. Find what comforts you. Take good care of yourself: eat well, drink lots of water, exercise, sleep, be social. Limit alcohol as it is a depressant. Breathe. I am breathing, too. If you want any grief resources, please let me know. Thank you for sharing about your father, and sending me your compassionate thoughts.

Thank you, Chandrama. I hadn't thought to set a place for him at Thanksgiving but I will definitely do that. We have been taking good care of my mother-in-law, who (understandably) misses her best friend and love of her life terribly.

I am learning that life goes on. And continually appreciating all that he did for his family.

My husband had stage IV brain tumor removed this summer (GBM) Had no symptoms headache dizziness just sudden only hint could not remember his cell and house phone number. Surgeon gave us the grim news 12-18 months to live after operation. Did radiation and Temodar chemo pills (Temozolomide). Our oncologist after viewing a MRI said he could not do anything more that we should call in Hospice. My adult sons about went to pieces. We had a meeting with the surgeon a couple of days later and he said he could not do any further surgery at this point but advised us of a chemo drug Avastin Bevacizumab. We are doing that every two weeks by injection, but we are prepared for the inevitable.

We at some point in our life will be going down that road.

Beautiful Chandrama and my thoughts are with you and your family. "We may think the dying have nothing left to give us, but quite possible
ly watching someones final days is when we receive their greatest gifts of all."

Dear Anonymous, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's tumor, and the road your family is on, too. We are trying to spend as much time with Mom as we can, do the things that make us happy and go on living our lives, cry at times, and distract ourselves with movies, football games, or reading, exercise, and so on. I wish you all the easiest, least suffering possible. I hope you are able to enjoy Thanksgiving in a meaningful way as a family. Death is a taboo topic in our culture, and we need to be able to talk about it, and how we are doing with it, day by day.

Thank you, Laura. I am sure that what you wrote is true: I will learn from this journey. I realize that I will have to grieve the death of my mom, yet she has to grieve the loss of everything in her life. That is a stunning and sacred thought for me to mull over.

Thank you for writing this. Your Mom (MIL...) is very lucky to have you.

So sorry to hear this, Chandrama. Your courage is an inspiration.

Pogo and Jessica, Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.