By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
(More)About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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I just want to start by saying body image is a huge topic and many articles and tomes have been written on the topic. I will just brush the surface here, with the intention of getting you to think about issues, thoughts, concerns, and beliefs about your own body image, and that of your beloved.
What got me thinking about this was an article I read in Scientific American in which an artist looked at his own issues with body image, talked with others about it, and decided to remake Barbie with realistic human proportions.
Take a look: she's a fair piece shorter, sturdier, muscular, and rounded in pleasing ways. Her feet are bigger and can actually hold up a woman.
I also read a
BBC article about Barbie's proportions which shows that a woman with Barbie's waist size would have to be 7'6" tall!
Further information on the internet suggests that Barbie would be between 5'9" and 5'11" and weigh about 110 pounds.
Livestrong states the average height of a woman in the US is 5'4" is the weight range is 108-132 pounds. A 5-foot-5 man has a range of 122 to 150 pounds, and a 5-foot-11 and a weight of 155 to 189 pounds.
The reality, however, is that we are beautiful or handsome to our beloved, not because we get anywhere near Barbie and Ken standards, but because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In the long run, it is love and connection and sex that make us attractive to one another.
(In the early days of attraction and dating, it is the crazy brain chemicals and hormones at work deciding if this woman or this man is an option.)
Barbie and Ken-like body images have caused damage to women and men in a variety of ways. To what lengths will one go to try to attain and maintain body image? Eating disorders (that may be fatal), surgery, constant dieting . . . ?
I am suggesting healthy lifestyle, exercise, good sleep, good food, minimizing alcohol. These all help take care of our brain as well as our body.
After you explore your feelings about your own body, maybe you'll talk with your mate about it.
I know as I grow older, my husband's love for my aging body helps make it easier for me to accept the changes, too.
I remember my grandmother saying that when she looked in the mirror she didn't recognize that old lady; she was still young in her mind.
