My friends mom once said "Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu." I think this is a good rule of thumb for me in my marriage. Anything that happens in my, or my husbands, mind is acceptable. Fantasy is just that...fantasy, pretend. For me, this includes looking at members of the opposite sex. It's fine for my husband to look at other women and I think it's nice when I notice women checking him out-validates his handsomeness.

For me, flirting would take it too far. But, each couple needs to decide for themselves what constitues flirting, right? Some people like the attention that flirting brings, but if that attention bothers your partner, it's not acceptable in a relationship.

What I've really noticed about myself since getting married a few years ago is that I'm much more comfortable with the opposite sex now. It's much easier for me to talk (but not flirt) to men I've juset met knowing that there's no possibility for a romantic relationship. I can more easily be myself and not have to try to impress anyone.

Chandrama. I am curious on your statement: "Men have told me they like to "window shop" and that they are "not dead" even if they are married. Women have told me they don't want their mate flirting or looking at other women when they are present. Is this flirtation?"
So the implication is that women do not window shop? Women do not make the statement they are 'not dead'? And of course Women have "told you they don't want their mate flirting..." Men have not said this?
Maybe I am missing something but it appears this is a very one-sided article with women the victim and men to blame. I would argue that it goes both ways. Women, married, in relationships, etc., do stare and window shop. Women do flirt.
Point being, I do believe men and women are equal - for the good and bad. Maybe that is because I was brought up by women only and taught treat men and women equal.

Well, according to various studies, 22-75% of married men admit to having an affair at least once while married, and 14-50% of married women admit the same. Not sure what is real, but I can tell you if you are seriously thinking about it, consider your marriage over. If you are doing it, know what kind of harm you're doing to your spouse and children. You made vows, the relationship or the sex changed, and now you want a little something on the side... Grow up! Childish behavior is for children.

Ok, done being judgemental. But it's true.

No one wins in divorce, certainly not your children.

Hi Robert,
I am simply sharing what I have been told. Women, speak up, do you window shop? Men, do you not want your partner flirting?

Wow - Surprised Cahndrama. I do not, I would not. I am in love with my wife and in-turn she loves me the same. We communicate daily. My whole point was and is that women are no different than men. If your experience is women speak up and men do not, then I would suggest you read the surveys. Even surveys focused on segments, even the most conservative, show that women do flirt, women who are married do have affairs. My point was never to point a finger at women; rather it was to say men and women do things that are regrettably wrong.
I think by your comment you made makes your point - you feel it is one-sided. So said differently, discrimination does exist and your comment certainly validates that point.

I am sorry, Robert, that I am not making myself clear. I am asking both men and women to speak up on this topic.